no sacrifice, just slow and steady

You can almost hear the culture screaming.“If you want to do well, you must sacrifice. You must drive yourself into the ground.You must suffer.”

What ever happened to “slow and steady”? 

Keep your well full of water, and slowly dole it out however you wish.  It’ll just take time.

All the best things do.

being manly

Masculinity is a funny thing.  Is it:

  • Loud?
  • Assertive or aggressive?
  • Abrasive?
  • Stubborn?
  • Self serving?
  • Strong/tough?

Many would think so.  "You gotta be tough if you wanna be a man!"  While that may be true, it also applies to being a woman.  So what makes a man 'manly'?

We tend to find problems in the absence of problems.  Some men confuse this for finding perceived threats.  

Threats, whether real or perceived, turn people (and men) into jerks.

The trick is in opening our eyes wide enough to see reality for what it is.  

There's way more need for strength in hugs and comfort than there is with violence.  Build when it's time to build.  Love when it's time to love.  Lift each other up with your strength.  And don't forget to protect others who can't protect themselves.  With your strength.

downhill

It’s hard to roll a rock uphill.  It takes real consistent effort.  What happens when you stop?  The rock goes in the opposite direction that you want it to go.  Not good.

Rolling a rock downhill is much easier.  All you need is a rock and a hill, and most importantly, be facing the right direction.

So many of us are so proud at the effort in rolling our rock up the hill.  We pretend that the key metric is effort, not distance traveled by our Little Rock.  We even get mad when we see someone rolling their rock downhill.  “That’s too easy.  They didn’t work for it.” 

Working and unnecessary suffering are two different things.  This can be easy if you want it to be easy.  Just don’t be surprised when your friends that have been rolling their rocks uphill call you an idiot for facing a new and scary direction.

leave it

How do you show the beauty of a flower to lots of people?  

Most would say, you pick it.   Then you take it around and show it to everyone you know.  

Or

You leave it.  Don't do anything.  It'll undoubtedly bless more people by the sidewalk than you could ever know.  

Many things that are natural don't need our help.

Focus. Or die.

"How do I stay motivated?"  I hear this from clients.  A lot.  It might be the biggest question of all.  After all, we all already know what to do, it's just that we don't have the motivation to do it.  

If we don't learn to focus we will live a life as a slave to our impulses.  We will die without any meaningful achievement.  

A comfortable man has trouble focusing on achieving his dreams, but the gazelle has no shortage of focus in running from the lion.  Just as the lion has no shortage in chasing the gazelle.  Whoever wins, lives.  Whoever loses, dies.  Either by being eaten alive or starving to death.

If there was a lion 300 feet away from you and running at you, you would have no problem starting your exercise running program.  You wouldn't even hesitate.  The will to live compels you to run like the wind.  No thought.  No lingering new year's resolution.  Just trying to live.  

But you're running.  FAST.

What's motivating you to focus?

Of course, we can't have this level of focus all the time.  It would be terrible to be chased by the proverbial lion all the time.  We would pass out.

Here's the secret:

Work when it's time to work.
Sleep when it's time to sleep.
Play when it's time to play.
Run when it's time to run.  

Each of these things turn out better when we focus on the one thing that's right in front of us.  When we run really really fast, we sleep better and play better.  When we play when it's time to play, we work better and sleep better.  

It's all connected.

Be present, and run really fast.